Ashburn Yellowjackets Thrash Highgrove City Railroaders 21-10 In Orion Bowl CCXXXVI

A dramatic third-quarter comeback by a revitalized Yellowjacket offense, a stunning halftime show featuring towering holographic stars, and a brief interruption by protesters bearing the St. Joseph flag all marked one of the biggest nights in American sports, drawing just under one billion viewers.

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Submersible Carrier Rosselli Downs Orbiting Fascist Cruiser as Mercenaries Pour Into Warzone